Welcoming a New Baby: How is Dad Doing?
- Ayelet Krieger
- Nov 21, 2025
- 4 min read
So, you’ve just had a baby – but you feel like something is a little off. While it may seem most other mothers and fathers you meet are gushing over every coo, giggle, and cuddle, you’re feeling inadequate, irritable, and withdrawn. If these traits describe how you’re feeling, you may have paternal postnatal depression – that’s right! New fathers, like new mothers, are also at risk for developing depression after the birth of a baby.
The birth of a new baby is a major life event. You’re no longer sleeping through the night, you’re eating more processed convenience food, and you can’t seem to make it off of the sofa and into the gym. Cue the adjustments. It’s not easy!
As new parents, we are often expected to be filled with feelings of excitement, joy, and anticipation upon the arrival of our new addition – but for some, the instinctual bonding they expect to develop, never seems to truly set in.
So often you hear new parents saying things like, “it was love at first sight”, or, “I never knew I was capable of loving someone I just met so much”. It’s easy to get lost in your thoughts, wondering, “how come I’m not feeling the connection that everyone is talking about?”
You know you love your baby and want what is best for their future, but no matter how hard you try to make yourself feel that bond, it just isn’t working. Resentment, frustration, and quite frankly, a lack of motivation to do anything about it seem to dominate the affectionate personality you know you once had. You’re not alone.
Most people have heard about new moms developing postpartum depression. Maybe you know someone who has struggled with the challenge – but did you know that postnatal depression isn’t just isolated to new moms?
Maternal postpartum depression and anxiety disorders are rapidly gaining awareness. This is good news because the growth in awareness is encouraging new moms to speak out about their experience and seek treatment so that they can better cope.
Sadly, new fathers that find themselves struggling with depression are not receiving the support they need– often leaving dads with paternal postnatal depression to suffer in silence. It’s time we start remembering to ask new fathers how they are adjusting to life with a new baby too, because the condition is not gender discriminate.
It can be scary, feeling as though you’re reacting to what you thought would be the most blissful event of your life, as if it were a disappointment – but we can help.
The American Psychological Association says that nearly 1 in 7 new moms will experience postpartum depression, while the National Institute of Health, claims that depression in new dads has the potential to develop just as often in the first months after baby is born.
The first few months as new parents can be some of the most difficult to navigate. The entire household routine is transformed and everyone is simply trying to figure out their new roles, and fathers may feel an increased pressure to provide, especially since they’ve got the entire future of a tiny little life they’re now responsible for.
So many people are aware that new moms might become depressed after having a baby, but very few have even heard of new dads battling the condition too - some may be completely unreceptive to the idea of it. This is so unfortunate; due to such a negative stigma that suggests that men are “soft” for developing feelings, men much less likely to seek help. Dads, you’re human too! There is no shame in wanting to get help. In fact, acknowledging that you have a problem, and working to overcome it, it highly commendable.
Does Dad Need Help?
It is thought that the same factors that contribute to a new mother developing depression, may also cause depression in new dads – and if mom is depressed, dad’s chances of developing depression are increased too. If you or a loved one is experiencing the following and feeling unlike your usual self, it may be time to consider talking to a mental health professional.
History of Mental Illness – A history of depression or other mood disorders increase a new father’s chance of developing paternal postnatal depression.
Excessive Financial Struggles, Family Stress, Workplace Stress – Depression is more likely to occur in new dads that are experiencing an excessive amount of stress at work, home, or with finances.
Emotional Extremes – Excessive sadness, irritability, lack of patience, or aggression.
Lack of Interest – Activities that he once enjoyed, are no longer of interest.
Lack of Motivation – Day to day tasks are becoming increasingly difficult to complete.
Excessive Fatigue – Sleep disturbances or feeling more tired than usual.
Increase or Decrease in Appetite – Eating more or less than usual, including weight gain or weight loss, can signal PPD.
These factors do not mean that a new dad will develop the condition and these factors do not have to be present for the development of the condition.
If you suspect that you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms associated with paternal postnatal depression, take heart. Paternal postnatal depression is highly treatable through counseling, and when needed, the use of medications. Don’t be afraid to reach out – support is waiting, ready to help dads of all walks of life cope and be the best fathers they can be.
To receive expert therapy support either for dad alone, or as a couple, please reach out for a free 30-minute taster session, so you can see for yourself how I can help you feel more connected to yourself and your family.
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